It seems that I attract people that seem pretty cool at first, but then later on slowly show subtle signs of getting near overload. Logic doesn't work at this point. I've noticed that numerous times, I've seen the fuse getting to that point where it's nearly gone and I just duck down and wait for the person to explode.
I guess by the time it dawns on me what's going on, there's not much of a way to get out of it until the explosion happens, and then I just walk away.
I think I've figured out where I'm going wrong, after much thought. I let very unstable people into my life because I know how it is. I've been in that sort of situation. I feel a sort of empathy and want to be there for them. But I realize I have nothing to offer them at this point. I'm no longer in that spot.
I need to think of myself now as a different person than I was then. I need to offer suggestions that worked for me, but not try to find a kindred spirit in someone who is currently completely bonkers.
Most people who are diagnosed with schizophrenia are going through it all at around my age, when I already went through it years ago. If someone has moved on as I have, then that is more likely someone I can connect with.
The struggle is past, so I should leave it there. Surrounding myself with those who are in the middle of the struggle I'm long done with is not the way to continue my own recovery.
I'm going to try to not reason away the red flags I clearly see, just because I've been there in the past. I'm not there anymore, and I can't go back there. It's not possible, nor is it something I'd want.
Now to drill this into my own head...
